Success Story
Families
Open Doors and Hearts to Parentless Children
Project moves children from institutions to loving homes.
It’s the middle of the night and 5-year-old Amel is calling frantically for his mother. “Please help me find a place to hide my shoes,” he begs when she arrives. His mother sits on the bed and explains to him that he is no longer in the orphanage where children take each others possessions. “You’re in your own home now and all your things are safe,” she reassures him.
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Five-year-old Amel
takes a break from bike riding |
Amel is one of four children who have been placed with foster families in the last six months in a project titled “Development of Alternatives Forms of Care for Children Deprived of Parental Care in BiH.” The initiative is implemented by Save the Children UK (SCUK) and supported by USAID/ Bosnia-Herzegovina.
It is universally recognized that a family environment provides the optimum opportunity for a child’s full emotional, physical and intellectual development. No matter how good an institution might be, it cannot replace a family. Children who have grown up in institutions are more likely to show developmental delays, to fail educationally and to be ill-prepared for the outside world. Institutions do not facilitate children becoming attached to a significant adult, which can have lifelong benefits in terms of their ability to develop trust in others.
According to social worker Liljana Veselcic, Amel’s fears are fairly common. “Every child wants something of his own,” she says. “So a child without parents becomes very attached to objects such as clothes or toys.”
Fortunately, Amel has found a home with foster parents who welcome his need for security and affection. According to his foster mother, Fatima Jusic, 48, Amel bonded instantly with her husband Esef, 56. “Wherever his father is sitting, Amel is either in his lap or leaning on his arm,” she says. But Fatima rejects the social workers’ teasing that she is jealous. “When he wakes up at night, it’s me he comes to for a hug,” she says proudly.
Social worker Fahrija Ganic says that the fostering program has been very successful in her municipality. “They [SCUK] have provided us with an excellent education and positive energy that has helped us enormously,” she says. She believes training of the families is key to the success of the program. For example, foster families are generally suspicious about contact with the biological family, she says. Therefore, it’s important that foster families understand the difficult situations—such as sickness, extreme poverty or psychological problems—that could force a mother to give up her child.
“We emphasize that the foster family must always think about what is in the best interest of the child. For that reason, we are firm that our families must never say anything negative about the biological mother no matter what their opinion is,” she says. Veselcic adds that while biological parents are permitted to visit their children, few do because the pain and stress is too great.
Foster families are also strongly counseled to avoid any confusion about their position with regard to the child. Fatima recently faced such a situation when Amel asked her why she had left him in the orphanage for so long. “I explained that I am not the mother who gave birth to him, but rather the mother who cares for him,” she says.
According to Ganic, one of the most important aspects of her job is finding a good match between foster parents and children. The social workers usually start by having the child make weekend visits and then see how things go. In Amel’s case, they have no doubts that his placement with the Jusics has been very successful.
“When Amel arrived here two months ago, he was very shy and withdrawn. But just look at him now,” says Ganic as Amel flies by on his bicycle with several neighborhood children.
“That boy has made us feel 25 years younger,” adds Fatima. “He’s returned our youth to us.”
Porodice otvorile
vrata i srca djeci bez roditelja
Uz pomoc ovog projekta, djeca iz institucija se
premjestaju u hraniteljske porodice
Usred noci petogodisnji Amerl uspaniceno doziva mamu. “Mama, mama, pomozi mi da sakrijem cipele,” moli je Amel. Mama sjeda na krevet i objasnjava mu da vise nije u sirotistu gdje djeca uzimaju tudje stvari. “Sada si u svojoj kuci i stvari su ti na sigurnom,” uvjerava ga.
Amel je jedno od cetvero djece koja su u posljednjih sest mjeseci smjestena u hraniteljske porodice uz pomoc projekta “Razvoj alternativnih formi brige nad djecom bez roditeljskog staranja u BiH.” Uz podrsku misije USAID-a u BiH, ovaj projekat implementira organizacija Save the Children UK (SCUK).
Opsteprihvacena
je cinjenica da porodicno okruzenje pruza najbolje mogucnosti za puni
emocionalni, fizicki i intelektualni razvoj djeteta. Bez obzira na to koliko je
dobra neka institucija, ona ne moze zamijeniti porodicu. Za djecu koja
odrastaju u institucijama postoji veca vjerovatnoca da ce zaostajati u razvoju,
slabije uciti i da ce biti losije pripremljeni za vanjski svijet. Institucije
ne pomazu djeci da postanu privrzeni jednoj, za njih znacajnoj odrasloj osobi,
sto tokom cijelog zivota moze korisno uticati na djecu u pogledu njihove
sposobnosti razvijanja povjerenja u druge ljude.
Socijalna radnica Liljana Veselcic smatra da su Amelovi strahovi dosta uobicajeni. “Svako dijete zeli nesto svoje,” kaze ona. “Tako dijete bez roditelja postaje vrlo vezano za objekte kao sto su odjeca i igracke.”
Srecom, Amel je pronasao svoj dom u hraniteljskoj porodici koja mu pruza sigurnost i ljubav. Kako kaze njegova majka, 48-godisnja Fatima Jusic, Amel se odmah vezao za njenog muza, 56-godisnjeg Esefa. “Gdje god da je njegov otac, Amel mu sjedi u krilu ili mu se naslanja na ruku,” kaze Fatima. Ona ne obraca paznju na zadirkivanje socijalnih radnika kada kazu da je ljubomorna. “Kada se probudi usred noci, ja sam ta kojoj dodje da ga zagrli” veli ona ponosno.
Socijalna radnica Fahrija Ganic kaze da je program hraniteljskih porodica bio vrlo uspjesan u njenoj opstini. Organizacija “Save the Children nam je obezbijedila izvrsnu edukaciju i pozitivnu energiju sto nam je veoma pomoglo,” kaze ona. Ona vjeruje da je obuka porodica kljuc za upsjeh ovog programa. Na primjer, hraniteljske porodice su generalno podozrive po pitanju kontakata sa bioloskom porodicom, kaze ona. Zbog toga je vazno da hraniteljske porodice razumiju teske situacije, kao sto su: bolest, siromastvo ili psiholoski problemi koji prisiljavaju majku da se odrekne djeteta.
“Mi naglasavamo da hraniteljska porodica uvijek mora imati na umu sta je najbolje za dijete. Zbog toga cvrstovjerujemo da nase porodice ne smiju nikada reci nista negativno o bioloskoj majci , bez obzira sta o njoj mislili”, kaze ona. Gospodja Veselcic na kraju dodaje da iako je bioloskim roditeljima dozvoljeno da posjecuju svoju djecu, samo nekolicina ih to radi jer su takve situacije vrlo stresne i bolne.
Hraniteljskim porodicama se takodjer savjetuje da izbjegavaju bilo kakvu vrstu konfuzije u vezi sa njihovim polozajem u odnosu na dijete. Fatima je nedavno bila u takvoj situaciji kada ju je Amel upitao zasto ga je ostavila tako dugo u sirotistu. “Objasnila sam mu da ja nisam majka koja ga je rodila, nego da sam majka koja se brine o njemu,” kaze Fatima.
Prema gospodji Ganic, jedan od najvaznijih aspekata u njenom poslu je da se roditelji i djece dobro spare. Socijalni radnici to najcesce pocinju tako sto omoguce da dijete provodi vikende u porodici i onda prate kako se stvari odvijaju. U Amelovom slucaju, socijalni radnici nemaju sumnje da njegovo smjestanje kod porodice Jusic bilo vrlo uspjesno.
“Kada je prije dva mjeseca Amel dosao ovdje, bio je vrlo stidljiv i povucen. A pogledajte ga sada,” kaze gospodja Ganic dok Amel sa djecom iz komsiluka juri na biciklu.
“To dijete nas je podmladilo 25 godina,” kaze Fatima. “Vratio nam je mladost.”
Last updated on: 12/01/2008
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